Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
I am very good at managing, fixing, arranging, creating, - those things they would agree.
Yet, my desire to be very good at listening, loving, looking, and feeling deeply - those, I am not always sure they would agree.
I want to spend my evenings looking deeply into their eyes as they tell me stories. I want to touch their hand with full presence as they walk with me. I want to smell their sweet kid scent and treasure that as I inhale deeply and slowly release the concerns or thoughts of anything that is not deep and loving.
One night a few days back, I was tucking Elizabeth into bed. A recently added ritual that we had dropped a few years back. Anyways, so I am kinda making a little sweet game of tucking her covers in all around her, as if a mummy being taken to her final shrouding.
She looked up at me gently.
E: Mom, you are warm.
M: Thanks babe.
E: I don't mean your body is warm, You are warm.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I understand that you have a day off from work? Hmmmm.
Are there no elevators that require your lovin? again, Hmmmmm.
Well, there are a few things that are calling your name outside..... "
"The fire pit needs moved and the gathered wood needs to dry out."
"But leave the purple ground cover that is attracting all of the bees, though it scares the kids - we need bees to pollinate our food resources (hippy ish I know)."
"Yes, Nate - I know... these look like it should be weeded out but I promise they will have pink blooms in about a week."
"Ok...I do understand that many consider these darling little daisies to be weeds, but just look at them! Plllllleeeaassee don't spray them with Roundup!"
" Oh PS..... Please trim sooo carefully around the yellow iris'. I know, I know they are much too delicate for our backyard, but I love them so trim carefully."
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Today is a day of rebirth and renewal. It symbolizes to me that all is possible.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Our neighbors across the street give us this to look at all spring.
Our neighbor (and best bud) gives us this plus forsyntheas and snowball bushes.
Yet, all we can give them is a newly organized this....
Friday, April 22, 2011
Not sure that you can hear the sigh of relief that the living room and dining room are now clean. Not just surface clean - but deeply cleaned! Nate, Elizabeth and I spent most of Sunday evening clearning those rooms until we were satisfied that we were ready for spring.... all dust bunnies freed, all spring chickens kicked out of the kitchen, and all the materials free of lint, pollen, and allergic fibers. Yes, the sound of freedom is long and celebratory.
So, to remedy this oversight - Nate and I have been changing beneficiaries and updating wills. Its all a big decision and yet hopefully none of our decisions will ever need come to fruition. Yet, we have signed, given blood, notarized, spit, and seconded all of the necessary forms to be sure that our children and our loves are taken care of.
I realize that my chance of dying is 100% but I pray to any god or spirit that is lizstening to at least give to me until our children are old enough for all of this custody/and will stuff doesn't matter. Allow me to love their tender hearts and to nourish their growth until I am old and gray.
Notarized and approved by Mindy S. Allenger
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Within those hours of bliss, her final parting thought was, "So whats the timeline on this writing?" Ok, back to reality.
My timeline is...
Chapter 1 finished by April 30
Chapter 3 finished by May 30
IRG over the summer
Chapter 2 concurrently over the summer
Research in September
Chapter 4 in October
Chapter 5 in November
Christmas in December (heehee)
Defend in January
Graduate in May