trudy, the wonder kid

I am so darn lucky. I have the honors of raising Trudy, the Wonder Kid.

Seriously, she is dreamy.

Let me prove it to you by letting you in on her weekend.

She came home from a great evening of Disney on Ice, and what did she do?

TV? nope Eat Junk? nope

The Wonder Kid comes home and does her homework! That's right,

she worked on Social Studies Friday night, woke up Saturday morning and finished her math and then Saturday afternoon completed her science.

I realize that I should be writing a book about parenting or such....

but it isn't me - its all TRUDY, The Wonder Kid

yep, that's it!

I am giving up Being Right for Lent.

Yep, that's it.... I am giving up on being right.

Not only does it not make me right, but it makes me a bully and lonely.

I want to listen and learn, without winning or losing.

I want to hug and laugh, without rules or limits.

I want to not be right for 40 days and 40 nights.

Yep, that's it1

really?

could anyone have told me that I would love these kids so much?

I really want 2 or 3 more of these loved ones to bring into my family.

Can we? Can we have 3 more? Or 4 more?

Of course, I want them to look like Natey and love like Natey

But I will settle for a bit like me :-)

simplicity

"There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity." Dieter Uchtdorf

prayers for pops

It is so difficult to see Pops in the hospital again. Though his body is struggling through the healing - his blue eyes still seem to smile.

When I think of the man that Nate is today, I see Pops written all over

so many of his behaviors and mannerisms.

from Pops - Nate has his gentle way of making his opinion known

from Pops - Nate likes to listen and to be surrounded by storytellers

from Pops & Louie - Nate has an attention to detail that is beyond meticulous

from Pops - the unwavering view of the world that is full of opportunity & possibility

Prayers for Pops

Can you hear me?

Lizabeth and Rory made these can phones a few weeks ago, and then of course Chance and Jake find right away and must experiement. They quickly reported they didn't work! Yet somehow, we could all hear their voices throughout the house.

love

love is fluently spoken here

It sometimes feels like our lives are too busy and too full of chaos,

yet there are times that humble us and gently remind us to be gratiful.

Lord, allow us to be full of gratitude for our busy schedules that demonstrate

that we are living our lives to the fullest and embracing all possible opportunities.

Protect those that we love or those in need. Send Kelli your warmest embrace

showing her that the word is still a safe and predictably wonderful world.

Allow her to open her heart to love and kindness that our Mother Earth continues to unfold.

Touch Michael's heart and warm him with kindness and affirmation that the world

loves him and that there is a constant stream of God's love and goodness flowing.

allow love and more love to be spoken here and everywhere.

adorable.... from the east coast to the west

Sitting in Fresno CA with julie in bob's car, with the temperature hovering around 102 degrees I could see the heat rising from the road. As Julie and I chat, I look down and there is an adorable picture of Julie on Bob's dashboard. It almost made me cry - it was so sweet and made me think of my Nate in WV that had once had my picture on his dashboard. We were just getting back together when I went to California, so just the idea that I had a fella that wanted to always be able to see me, made me smile and blush.
Yepper - we are back and the dashboard picture is back!

my three favorite fellas

oh my broken A's

I have had the name Allenger since 1994. I love that name. Its mine and Elizabeth's - I don't know why I am so attached. I just am. So, when I started collecting the letter 'A', it felt like an identity issue. Well.... now that three "E's" live in this house, its time for the "A's" to go. But I have been reluctant - until the cats helped me out with that step of letting go. Two of my favorite A's were broken into pieces by falling from the mantle onto the hardwood floors. It almost feels cathartic, to let go of that past feeling of attachment. Instead, I am now attached to the love of my life and the life that we have together.

my valentine

I absolutely love that Nate and I choose many years ago to not feel any pressure to celebrate any holidays that required prescribed gifts or tokens of affection. Surely we are more romantic on a daily basis than a requirement of a card and chocolates on Feb. 14. Now, if we weren't genuinely romantic frequently, perhaps we would have the desire for such displays.

Romance....

receiving tulips on a Tuesday

love notes in the bathroom cabinet

hearts drawn on the dust of my car

a beautifully folded basket of laundry

brewing coffee in the morning, just for me

a foot rub while The Office plays

hugging a child that is not our own by birth

kisses even with morning breath

dandlelions and ivy from the yard in a crystal vase

I have romance.

Oh my....

Elizabeth and I arrived home around 7:30 last night to greet Nate and the boys playing here in the living room. From there on - the feeling was "oh my!" Chance could not have been more loving and sweet than he was last night. Oh my, he stroked my hair as we played the computer game together. Oh my, he sat on my lap to eat his snack last night. Oh my, he layed with Nate and watch a little tv. Oh my, he put my arm around him while all of us sat on the couch.

The "oh my" is overwheming, but just this week I had worked it up in my head to give him some space. I know (thought at best) that the upcoming marriage, the stress of his 2nd grade, trouble at home, anything .... actually I didn't know anything. I could only see Chance seemingly wanting to pull away from me and to hurt my feelings to do so. I have gone through it with Elizabeth before, "Just give them time and unconditional love and it will all work out." Well, once again I was wrong and love was right. Thank God. Because he wanted me more last night think he ever has. He even said, "I can't wait till we go camping this summer." which is a huge, ALL family, ALL weekend kind of thing (aka, no phones and no video games).

Oh my, I have Chance back!

"Kids are for napping with," purrs Indra

Picnic at the Capital, Anyone? Anyone?

Couldn't be a crazier place to have a picnic... yet we LOVE it there.

Butts to solid marble, voices echoing in the halls.

Ahhhh, a perfect winter picnic place

3rd Christmas Together!

It feels so good to be celebrating into our 3rd Christmas. The kids and our relationship has grown so much. We were so selfish and immature - but now we are refocused on one another and our forever together. Our time together is so precious, we now understand.

So this picture symbolizes that looking forward.

another niece/nephew all grown up

My sister is almost finished. Almost finished by having all three of her children through high school and on their own. While I am still fixing breakfasts, reminding kids to put on gloves, cleaning up toys and projects.... Carol is talking: college, jobs, appointments, curfews. It is strange how only 4 years apart, our lives are worlds apart. Maybe thats good because we can share with one another - because there is no similarity in our day to day world.

the hardest job

I remember hearing that parenting is the hardest job.... but before becoming a parent I thought that was ridiculous. Babies are cute and small, kids are fun and energetic - how hard could it be?

Now, I can't believe how wonderfully difficult it is. The constant worry and work.

lost socks

overdue library books

overdue haircuts

a cough in the night

tears of hurt feelings

Yet, through the work I see the reason for the work smiling at me or wanting me to sit with them. Elizabeth truly wants to still be in the same room with me at all times. "Moma," "Mom" and "Mommy" echo through the house reminding me why I work and work.

Nate wonders what the boys will remember of their childhood. Oh, they will remember his first smile when he picks them up. They will remember the silliness and attention to detail that is him authenically. I will be there to fill in the details (some real and some imagined I admit) accompanied by rooms full of pictures and heads full of memories.

Because what the kids will remember is the love, the warmth, and the attention. Will they always be happy with our decisions or want to change an outcome? Of course, because thats what we all did - but I aim for a general satisfaction of contentment that we were there. Showing love, warmth and attention.

Note to self.... remember that when you hear the word mom for the hundredth time or when you step on a lego in the middle of the night. Remember that when you are tired but they want one last hug or tuck in.

old kitchen, old pajamas, and old lovins

You can't see it from this picture, but....

E is wearing footy pajamas

Grammie is spinning around on gross lineoleum

Two huge lights dominate the room

Bad 60's wall paper surround the kitchen

E is loving the attention by Gram

The old Kenmore is humming

The banquet plastic is ripped and kinda smelly

spring will come again

The two months of cold and icy roads and toes have left us all ready for the sunshine. Just to throw care out the open windows and to run up the hill without abandon.

the boys ache to run the hill

indra yearns to creep among the ivy

lizabeth remembers walking to the school with just a friend

nate grills with a memory of sun on his back

mindy recalls basking and slipping into naps on the porch

rikki meows for the thought of an open window with a breeze

But spring will return. It will come into morning peeking its bright face into our sleepy eyes and be here just in time. Just in time for a sweet, spring wedding. Thats perfect!

Easing into the Weekend

nate and i have the amazing privilege of spending most fridays.... just us, to

run errands holding hands

take naps

watch movies with the blinds pulled

catch up on the bills

clean up the house a bit

it is truly the best way to ease into the weekend